He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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