its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
