he thought i was a dude.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
