You work out of a Hotel?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
