We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
