Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
