She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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