I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
