So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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