Can Purell be used as lube?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
