i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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