More tranny stories later!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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