I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
