loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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