try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
