i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
