If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
