I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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