Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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