I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
