talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
