I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize