My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
