How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
pop tarts are not kleenex
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
