I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize