why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
