I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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