i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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