Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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