Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
sarcasm needs its own font
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
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