my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
