can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
