Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
