HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
