There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
