I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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