We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
