Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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