Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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