biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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