It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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