I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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