In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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