you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
