If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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