even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize