well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
