I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think i have herpe
just one?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
