oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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