My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
