Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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