I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
