I just pynch a tree in the face
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
