It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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