did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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