I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
