dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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