Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm passing your future prison.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
