I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
