just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
