if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
